How to get rid of a dead body

There are many methods of dealing with an unwanted body in your house. You may throw it into a river, lake, sea or even an ocean, but do not forget that if it does not have proper ballast, you are likely to find it one day floating around, which is not what you are aiming at. It is also possible to dig a hole in your garden and hide the body there. Although simple in usage, this particular method has one main disadvantage - the soil dug can be easily noticed, especially if you have not touched your garden for the past few years. However, all that has been already written should not dissuade you from reaching your goal, as there is one completely safe and almost undiscoverable way. All you have to do to get rid of a dead body is to cut it into pieces and then burn it.

As it has been already mentioned, the first thing you have to do is to cut the body into pieces. It will take you some time (probably an hour) and effort, but with this instruction in hand you should manage. As soon as you find a proper axe with a honed blade, you may start your work. It is advised to cut off the limbs first and then deal with the corpus. Once you have the limbs cut off (including the head), try to divide it into smaller parts, preferably ten to fifteen centimetres long. The head should be smashed. The corpus must be divided at least into five parts, if not more. It is important to do it neither too loudly nor with too much blood around, as the neighbours may notice something. In fact, it is the best to perform the whole action in your country house or, at least, in the cellar.

If you succeeded in doing this part of work, you may be proud of yourself. The worse half is over. All you have to do now is simply burn out your fireplace, using the body as your wood. A pleasant evening with allaying warm coming from the fire place will help you to forget all that you have just gone through. Probably there will be some bones left afterwards, but you may put them into a bag with rubbish and throw it out at the local dump. No one will notice, do not worry.

Now there is just one thing left to do - namely to congratulate yourself. After all, you have done a pretty good job. And shall you ever have any other problems of the same nature - call us. Our instructions will help you in the most extraordinary situations, as they have just done.